


s.t.a.y.

by higher_space



Series: stories about us [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Did I Mention, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Other, Pining, Space Metaphors, first/second person, inspired by Interstellar, like other fics in this series, space, the characters are whoever you can dream up, ylia just seems to fit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 03:05:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10376460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/higher_space/pseuds/higher_space
Summary: Words go unsaid, and as the last breezes of this late-summer night bluster by, as extraterrestrial debris streaks through the sky, and as the light of the city glows with a lambent sort of radiance in the far off distance, we hold a conversation with our faces unseen and our mouths closed tight.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey hey my dudes i'm pretty proud of this. i might go back to fandom fics soon if i get some inspiration, but for now: sad fics featuring space.
> 
> title from: [s.t.a.y.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2BuJJIVicY)

There’s something about the way your eyes light up. There’s a whole cosmos stretching out just above us; illuminating the sky is the light of a thousand-and-one suns, yet I find myself drawn to the glimmer in your eyes, instead. I never really could find the words to describe them, so I hope this can do them justice.

 

I find my own eyes tracing your jawline, and then your whole body. Your expression screams  _ ‘fascination’  _ as you gaze up at the stars above us. Your form is leaned against the hood of my old pickup, and everything about you is just so  _ endearing. _

 

The bluish light changes the colour of your skin, and suddenly you seem just as far away as the constellations overhead. You haven’t noticed my prying eyes, and I hope to God that you never do because every single moment I’m around you, it takes all of my willpower not grab your hands and declare every single thing I love about you. I can’t bring myself to erase the raw emotion in my eyes, to throw it away, to discard it like it never really mattered. Instead, I stand and watch. That’s all I ever seem to do.

 

Your smile widens once again, and suddenly you’re pointing up at the sky and there’s a flash of light. Your whole body is buzzing with excitement, you’re standing at your full height and in that moment, you are completely untouchable. You turn your head, a smile brighter than a million supernovas, and you’re so far away. You’re fading and if only I could reach out and grab your hand, and  _ oh my God, _ I just want to feel you. I want to know how your heart beats, I want to see the world through your eyes, I want to be able to live as you do; because everything you do is so inspiring and passionate and no one I’ve met could ever compare to the  _ radiance  _ that is you. I want to know what it is like to be so in love with the world, and the stars above. Tears begin to form, and you do a double-take. 

 

Your smile drops at the same time my tears do; I can’t hold back, and suddenly my arms are wrapped around you and my face is pressed into the crook of your neck. You are frozen, tense, but you soften. I hear something happening in the distance, but I just can’t seem to take all of you in. Your smell, the fabric of your shirt, your skin, the warmth you radiate.

 

It takes a moment. A string of moments. I feel your arms wrap around my torso, and my involuntary shaking slows, my sobs are caught in my throat and my hands are fisted in the material of your jacket.

 

Words go unsaid, and as the last breezes of this late-summer night bluster by, as extraterrestrial debris streaks through the sky, and as the light of the city glows with a lambent sort of radiance in the far off distance, we hold a conversation with our faces unseen and our mouths closed tight.

_ Stay. _

 

_ You know I can’t. _

 

But I don’t know. And it’s unfair, it’s so unfair. It’s so goddamn unfair that you’re leaving me. Deep inside, I know it’s so much more than your absence. It’s that I won’t be able to meet you at the bus stop anymore; I won’t be able to throw open my bedroom window and crawl onto the roof, and see you on your roof; I won’t be able to hear you talk about the stars with a passion beyond your years; I won’t be able brush away that strand of hair that always gets in your eyes when you’re focussing, and it’s that this will be our final embrace. I’m so selfish for thinking this. It’s our last night together and you’ll be gone in the morning and I’m crying on your shoulder.

 

I realize now that I am not the only one with tearstained cheeks.

 

We were always told to follow our dreams, but my dream is only to wake up with our limbs intertwined, where your dream is to see the world, and to see every world on the horizon. My dream is to love you. Your dream is to love the world.

 

I will choke down and swallow my pride, and I will gladly throw myself in the dirt because you’ve always been my light, and I’ve wanted nothing more than to be your shadow. I place my hands on your shoulders, and with a jolt, I separate our bodies. If your smile is the radiance of a thousand suns, then your tear-streaked face and blurry eyes are a nebula; they are messy, but they are a new beginning, and they are  _ beautiful. _

 

The space between us says a thousand words, and I feel myself at a loss. I suppose you do, as well. I turn my back to you, and as an asteroid falling out of orbit, I am no longer your shadow. I feel aimless and lost and as though I’m falling apart, but this is my lone option. This is all I can do for you, after all of the years you helped me, this is the only action I can take to finally set you free.

 

_ Good bye. _

**Author's Note:**

> whaddya think? did you have a favourite line? should there be a more? i was thinking a prequel, then a chapter that takes place a few years after this. let me know in the comments! i live off of comments.
> 
> if you're very deeply interested in this, or just think i'm kinda cool, shoot me a message on my instagram, schemingcaptain. 
> 
> cya round my dudes; stay tuned for more.  
> [instagram](instagram.com/wormliness) | [tumblr](wormliness.tumblr.com)


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